This may be one of the few times that your entire family is together for a happy occasion. Take the time to walk around and talk to everyone. After all of the stress and the commotion, you are finally at the point where you can relax a little. Smile for the camera, smile for your friends, smile because you’re happy. Just smile. Solemn is for funerals. This is your time to rejoice in being married. Marriage takes commitment, compromise, and patience—all of the things that you have needed to plan a beautiful wedding.

When it all comes down to it, your wedding is supposed to be a celebration of you as a couple. Forget about what the cake looks like; if it’s off balance, take pictures from a different angle. If the deejay is playing horrible music or the band is off key, who cares?

Dance like a fool with your nieces and nephews. Dance with your mom or your dad. Let loose a little and stop worrying about what your hair looks like. Have some fun. Just be with and enjoy your new spouse, family, and friends—this is a party for your new life together, not a test of your wedding planning skills. If it can’t be fixed—most times no one will notice. Eat a little One of the things that couples forget on their wedding day is to have something to eat. You’ll have even more energy to dance until dawn and more cushioning in your stomach for any fun beverages that you may consume.

If you recently married, check out your new tax situation. You might save money or even prevent the problem of a missing refund check.

The first things to handle are changes of name and address. Later, as tax season approaches, consider whether or not you’ll itemize deductions, which tax return form is right for you and what filing status you’ll use. No one should delay the cake cutting or honeymoon because of taxes. You must provide correct names and identification numbers to claim personal exemptions on your tax return. If you changed your name upon marrying, let the Social Security Administration know and update your Social Security card so the number matches your new name. Use Form SS-5, Application for a Social Security Card. The Postal Service will also pass your new address on to IRS for updating. You may also notify to notify the IRS directly by filing Form 8822. Each year, the Postal Service returns thousands of tax refund checks as undeliverable, usually because the addressee has moved. Notifying both the Postal Service and the IRS of an address change in a timely manner can help ensure the proper delivery of any refund checks. To check the status of a tax refund, go to the IRS web site and use the “Where’s My Refund?” service.

Married persons may file their federal income tax return either jointly or separately in any given year. Choosing the right filing status may save you money. A joint return (Married Filing Jointly) allows spouses to combine their income and to deduct combined deductions and expenses on a single tax return. With separate returns (Married Filing Separately), each spouse signs, files and is responsible for his or her own tax return. Each is taxed on his or her own income, and can take only his or her individual deductions and credits. If one spouse itemizes deductions, the other must also.

I have an awful marriage. There was nothing happening in the marriage and the affair just happened. There is no intimacy, no sex, and no excitement. The love is gone.

If your partner/spouse is having and affair and blames it on the “marriage,” don’t buy into it. The “marriage” is not the problem. Your spouse/partner chose the affair out of ignorance, fear or inadequacy.

We idealize “marriage” or “romantic relationships” with the expectation we will get what we want, without much effort to boot. The movies, popular public press and romance novels/stories don’t help much here. A “marriage” is behind the eight ball from the word go. “IT” can’t win. It’s as if a marriage is an animal gone bad. A marriage does not have a life of it’s own. In reality, there is no such thing as a “marriage.” One is “married” as a result of making some promises and signing a paper at one point. After the paper is signed, two people continue communicating and acting toward one another in particular ways that they hope will help them get what they individually want. Remember the comedian Flip Wilson (that dates me) and his “The devil made me do it” skit?

If the “marriage” is dead, why in the world would one choose to have an affair? Talk about jumping from the frying pan into the fire. It really is stupid. You add a whole layer of deceit and shame that eventually will result in consequences more dire than approaching your spouse and saying, “I’m really unhappy. Oh well, maybe some people need more problems and suffering. From day one most of us don’t have a clue about how to get, build, nurture and maintain healthy and intimate ways of relating. We need ‘love 101’ and it’s not there. We rely upon experimentation or bad models.

It is very important that couples not simply sit back in the belief that a marriage will stay exciting merely on its own momentum. More willingly, it is important that spouses take some basic steps to instill their relationships with a bit of excitement.

The first tip to bring excitement into any relationship is to spice things up in the bedroom. Your sex life has a strong correlation with the strength and satisfaction of your relationship. So try exploring a new position or even a sexual fantasy with your partner, and in so doing share something intimate and bring some excitement into your marriage.

A relationship can only grow and remain exciting if both parties are confident in their commitment to one another. As a consequence, make it a rule between you and your partner that you never threaten separation or divorce. Establish an understanding that if you threaten separation, you should be heading out the door to back it up. It is a harsh rule, but one that needs imposition if your relationship is to survive the ups and downs which are a part of all marriages.

You cannot have anything interesting to say if you spend every waking moment doing and experiencing the same things. Having independent interests is not a sign of a weak marriage, as some newlyweds believe, but rather a sign of its strength. So instead opt for a one night local vacation. Plan a dinner and evening out, and cap it off with a night in a hotel. The expense isn’t a lot considering the excitement that a trip, no matter how small, can bring into a relationship.

While you were dating, planning the spontaneous event seemed rather innate. But, as we grow comfortable in our relationships and more busy by life’s obligations, we have a tendency to rely upon the strength of our relationships and in so doing fail to keep things spontaneous.